March 2, 2017 Alone in a Crowded Room LYSA TERKEURSTFrom: Crosswalk.com

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

I wished the small room would open up and swallow me whole. Just envelop me into an abyss that would simultaneously hide me and remove me.
It’s painful to be in a crowded room and feel all alone.
Everyone had someone. Their chatting and laughing lilted in a symphony of connection. I looked around, and there wasn’t a soul I recognized.
My brain demanded I just walk up and introduce myself to someone — anyone. But my heart sensed they were all knee-deep in conversations that would be super awkward for me to break into.
Isn’t it strange how you can literally rub shoulders with lots of people but feel utterly alone? Proximity and activity don’t always equal connectivity.
On the surface, connectivity seems to require that I connect with other people, and they connect back with me. Of course that gathering was an extreme example of being alone in a crowded room, but that feeling isn’t sequestered to that one incident.
I can get it when things grow cold and too quiet with a family member. And deep down inside of me, I want to ask for forgiveness, but my pride is holding all my kind words hostage. So the silent treatment continues. And though we’re in the same house, we’re nowhere near connecting.
Or that feeling can happen when I’m with a group of women, and I can’t quite seem to break into the conversation. I mentally beat myself up for not being more brilliant, or caught up on the world’s current events and fashion trends. They all seem so effortlessly on top of everything.
In each of these situations I’m with people. But I’m so very alone.
And I secretly ponder how the events of that day clearly point out other people’s issues: their self-focus, their past problems, their insensitivity.
But the problem wasn’t the people at the party. The problem wasn’t my family or that group of women. It was me not being prepared in advance with a fullness that can only come from God.
It was as if I walked into each of these situations suddenly feeling like I wouldn’t be able to breathe unless someone else invited me in. The whole room was full of completely breathable air, but since I refused to take it in, I suffered.
I can’t expect any other person to be my soul oxygen. I can’t live as if my next breath depends on whether or not they give me enough air for my lungs not to be screaming in pain.
No, it’s not wrong to need people. But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have for others, which they can’t ever possibly meet. That’s when the desire to connect becomes an unrealistic need.
Here’s the secret shift I’ve learned we must make:
Do I walk into situations prepared with the fullness of God in me, free to look for ways to bless others?
Or ...
Do I walk into situations empty and dependent on others to look for ways to bless me?
People prepared with the fullness of God in them are not super-people with pixie dust sparkles of confidence. No, the fullness of God is tucked into the sacred places within them. The full taking in of God is their soul oxygen. It’s not that they don’t need people. They do. God created them for community. But the way they love is from a full place, not from an empty desperation. They live loved.
And this is how I want to live, too.
Being full of God’s love settles, empowers and brings out the best of who we are. His love quiets us deep within, just like our key verse Zephaniah 3:17 reminds us.
And when we live from the abundant place that we are loved, we won’t find ourselves begging others for scraps of love. We’ll be ready to walk into a room and share the love we already know is ours.
Dear Lord, thank You so much for the way that You love me — with a love that can never be shaken, taken or tarnished. Help me look to You and You alone to fill and satisfy my heart. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God Helps With Loneliness

Thank you for commenting below:  Let us know what you think?

1. Is loneliness a bad thing?
2. When God is with you does it help loneliness?
3. What should people do to combat loneliness?

4. What is your message to lonely people?

“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’ ” Genesis 2:18

It’s Not Good to Be Alone

From: Get More Strength.org

Jan

29

2016

“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’ ” Genesis 2:18

While reading through the creation narratives in Genesis for the umpteenth time, I was struck by God’s commentary on Adam being alone in the garden. What caught my attention was the observation God made after each stroke of his creative power: “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). Until, that is, He made Adam. At that point, something was not good: “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). So He fixed it and did something really good—He made Eve!

A couple of thoughts race through my brain at this point. I couldn’t agree more with God’s assessment—man needs woman! Left to ourselves we would be more like untamed savages than decent, sensitive specimens of humanity. I have no idea how off track my life might be if my wife Martie had not come along. She is a consistent check to my social insensitivities, to my self-serving male perspectives on life, to what color combinations work and which ones don’t, and to making life better for our kids and grandkids. To say nothing of her sensitive heart toward God that stimulates me to want to serve and follow Him with greater enthusiasm. Thankfully, for all of us guys, God didn’t get carried away with how good it all was but saw the single flaw and did something to save the world from men left to themselves! Bravo for that stroke of creative genius. As the French say, Vive la difference!

The other thought that caused me to stop reading long enough to let it sink in, is that being alone is not a good thing for anyone. God made us in His image—which means that we, like Him, are relational beings. In the beginning, it was a literal paradise of fulfilling relationships as God in an unhindered way walked with Adam and Eve in the garden and they enjoyed the fullest experience of intimacy with each other. So, where did loneliness come from? How did the demon of loneliness that haunts many of our hearts today alienate us from the others that we so desperately need?

I want to be clear here and admit that loneliness isn’t always brought on by us or our choices. So this is not a guilt trip. But as the story unfolds, we see the damage of alienation haunting the landscape of life. Adam and Eve hide from God out of fear of getting caught, and Adam blames Eve for his disobedience, which clearly drives a wedge into their flawless intimacy. And the deep fellowship on every satisfying level is now replaced by alienation, blame, distrust, and shame.

Which leaves me wondering, how could people who had it so good end up with everything so out of sync? It all started going south when Eve believed that to live for herself and her own gain was more important than living to love God and Adam. And to make matters worse, Adam followed suit.

The lesson here is huge. Living for what’s “best for me,” while ignoring the needs, wishes, and interests of others always brings alienation and aloneness.

Thank God that He has made a way for us to restore relationships and to recapture a portion of the intimacy of Eden. When we follow the way of Jesus and live to love and serve others, aloneness gives way to intimacy and our self-serving acts of alienation dissolve into a bonding that gets us wonderfully stuck on each other again.

And guys, that should probably start with us since it’s not a good thing for us to be alone!               Written by: Joe Stowell