How often do we consider all the things God does for us? Many times we only talk or think about them when He gives us what we want and life looks good, but what happens when we go through a hard time or when we don’t receive what we ask for in prayer?
Since I gave my life to God, I’ve been on a learning path. I feel how He guides me, consoles me, and yes, sometimes I get scolded too! I can feel His love for me, and I have learned to trust Him.
Most of the years that I have walked with the Lord have been good years, there have been some troubles along the way but nothing major, and so all looked fantastic until four years ago when I learned that my mom had dementia. What I thought would be a slow and lengthy process turned out to be a short and very aggressive one. Once my mom started to show signs of the illness, it took a very short time for her to be bedridden and pass away.
It was the worst time of my life. My mom, my closest friend, my first love, was totally dependent on me… I was not sure that I would know how or even if I would be able to take care of her. Working a full-time job and caring for my mom, I was alone, scared, upset, and very confused; I couldn’t understand why my mom was going through this illness. I had so many questions.
I prayed and pleaded with God to heal her, but nothing was changing. As time passed, I was feeling tired and frustrated. I never stopped praying, reading my Bible, and on the days that I couldn’t pray because I just didn’t have anything left in me, I worshiped with tears streaming down my face.
One morning as I was getting ready to start my day and feeling very bad about myself, I started thinking about the Scripture,
For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing (Romans 7:19 NIV).
Immediately came the answer from God telling me, My grace is sufficient for you. From that moment on I started to learn to let God do what I can’t and just rest and trust that everything will be ok.
I lost my mom a few months ago, but I often think about not only what God did for me while I cared for my mom, but all He has done for me even when I didn’t know Him. I think of all the times He carried me, blessed me, provided for me, loved me and my heart fills with a profound gratitude and a passion to share all the amazing things that God has done for me.
I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds (Psalm 77:12).
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