There Is Someone Who Understands You

 

 

Jessica Teed – cbn.com

Walking through times of suffering is when I have experienced the most spiritual growth in my relationship with the Lord. These often painful and difficult moments have helped shape me into who I am today. Can you relate?

After college, I worked in a very toxic environment at a job that I did not enjoy. I was belittled and criticized, and it seemed that nothing I did was good enough for my boss. Being at work was a daily emotional roller coaster that I desperately wanted to end.

I had only known the Lord for about five years at this point, but I wouldn’t say that I walked closely with Him or depended upon Him. I depended upon my well-paying job to provide for all my needs, and it was more a part of my identity than being a follower of Jesus Christ. When I lost my job in 2007, many emotions ran through me, and I was inconsolable. I felt like the rug was ripped out from underneath me.

Since I had no way to pay rent, I moved in with a friend while her husband was deployed in Afghanistan. I remember feeling so completely lost. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Negativity consumed me and I struggled with feeling grateful for what I did have. I was angry with God, and I could feel myself drifting away from Him. I was angry at myself, too, for not making better choices with my finances. I was convinced that God was punishing me for my poor choices, and I listened to the lie that no one understood what I was going through.

It was through the help of a close friend that my eyes were opened. She suggested that I read through the book of Psalms and write down words that described who God is in each one. The more time I spent doing this, the closer I felt to God. Little by little, I began to see who God really was. I could also see that He was right there with me, walking with me one step at a time.

God used this to draw me closer to Him. Over the next several months, I learned what it meant to trust in the Lord and to depend upon Him for all that I need. I learned what it meant to seek after Him with all my heart. I learned the truth about who God is and who I am in Christ. The lies I had been believing for so many years were exposed, and God began to bring healing into my life where I needed it the most. As Ephesians 3:20 NLT says, God is truly:

…able to accomplish infinitely more than we could ever ask or think.

The truth is, God did not cause me to lose my job, but He did use my job loss to draw me closer to Him. God also chose to use that loss as a way to set me free from a toxic work environment that regularly filled my mind with lies about who I am.